Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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