Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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