just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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