Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
