Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
