just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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