i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
