I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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