I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
