btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
