Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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