The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
