It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
