But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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