You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish i was in the wii world.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize