Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
