I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
