i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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