Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize