it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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