I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
