I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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