So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
