...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
