And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
