Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
