a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
