During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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