So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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