I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
