we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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