I need help removing her.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
