We should be called the Road Head Warriors
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize