I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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