Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
