i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
