We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
