She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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