You made me cry and you don't even care
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize