We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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