if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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