this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was like having sex with a tree stump
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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