my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
