the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
