no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
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I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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