oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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