I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
