I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Randomize
