I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She is in my trunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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