Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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