I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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