Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.