please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
