Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.