I have demons in me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent