shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
