I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
